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| Illustration by Mohamed Hassan |
Reflection,
looking inside ourselves to find a clear image, gives us the information that
we need to decide where we want to go from here. It is the necessary prequel to
making conscious choices about the next part of our lives and involves noticing
who we are in the present moment. Reflection is often associated with
particular calendar events, which can include a birthday, a religious or
secular holiday, other events with individual meaning, and January 1.
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| Illustration by intographics |
The new year
has arrived, and there is a tradition at this time of making a set of personal
“New Year’s resolutions.” These resolutions are promises that we make to
ourselves, often about changes that we want to make related to our own habits.
Two of the most common resolutions are to “eat healthier” and “get more
exercise.” A large percentage of these promises are broken before the end of
January, however if we choose simple goals, create action plans, take small
steps, tolerate some inconsistency, and stay positive, we can feel good about
our progress.
While
reflection is the first necessary step into the possibility of change, it is
the next steps that can help us most in choosing and creating what we want for
ourselves. It begins with deciding on goals. It can be as simple as deciding on
one goal for the immediate future. It can be as complex as creating a list of
short term, intermediate term, and long-term goals. The first part of choosing
goals is to give ourselves enough time and space to think carefully about what
is most important to us at this time. Be sure to write down and save these
goals in whatever format works for you. Possibilities include keeping a list in
a notebook, on paper or 3 x 5 cards in a folder, on an app or your calendar on
your phone or computer, or posted where you can see it.
While some
think of long lists of goals to accomplish, in making an action plan it is
important to decide on individual small steps toward each goal to avoid
becoming overwhelmed. If you have 10 goals, it may work best to prioritize them
and start with one step toward one goal. Each step should be small enough that
it seems almost “too easy.” If you have not been exercising and want to begin,
start walking a distance that is very easy at least three times a week. Slowly
and gradually, the distance and frequency can be increased. Support this
process by noticing and appreciating each step (and yourself!), no matter how
small.
The most
important personal qualities to cultivate while making change in support of
goals are self-compassion, the ability to notice and release self-judgment, and
positive outlook. When we are judgmental and have negative feelings about
ourselves, it is harder to sustain the desire for change, and we are more
likely to give up and fail to accomplish our goals. We are most able to create change
and accomplish goals when we maintain self-kindness and focus on the positive.
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| Illustration by John Hain |
In order to engage
in this process of reflection, notice our current state, and choose a path to
the future we want to see, we must feel that we have personal power and the ability
to go through this process. Living with symptoms of chronic pain, anxiety,
depression, chronic illness, and other conditions can lead to feeling powerless.
It may be hard to imagine having enough energy to consider taking steps to have
a better life. Here too, it works best to focus on one step at a time: learning
to cultivate a sense of personal power. The first step is noticing the feeling
of being powerless and interrupting that
feeling, the same way we interrupt symptoms such as pain or anxiety. The Neuroplastic Method teaches us to interrupt
our symptoms by using a Tool every time we notice them. One example uses
words and language as a neuroplastic tool. We start by noticing the desire to
change something in our lives, and the feeling of being too overwhelmed to even
think about it. The minute we notice this feeling, we “catch it in the act” and
say out loud “this is a feeling of being
powerless and it’s NOT TRUE! I can
take one small step at a time and eventually change will come.”
In this way we
can recapture a sense of personal power and ability that will allow us to take
steps toward achieving our goals.
